"Encroach upon my deepest dreams and desires, but do not expect to come back unscathed"

 

djentydjoe:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

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brave-fart:

did you hear about the italian chef who died?

he pasta way

he just ran out of thyme

here today, gone tomato

his wife is still upset, cheese still not over it

we never sausage a tragedy coming

ashes to ashes, crust to crust

there’s just not mushroom for italian chefs in today’s world

his wife feels like there’s a pizza her missing

(Source: sofunnyimcryan)

adventuresofcesium:

mainstream tumblr feminism may have many glaring faults but it has bred an army of teenage girls who understand the common ways that misogyny is reinforced in society and who know that they’re better off loving their fellow woman than fighting with her and that’s actually pretty damn revolutionary

ikarosthesecretangel:

fallen-angel-of-hidden-paths:

haruprince:

pissfreak:

pissfreak:

LOOK AT THIS CHICKEN GO

do u know how much of my dashboard is notes from this post at all hours of the day. do u know how many times every day i see someone reblog it and add “nyoom” to the caption. this is my personal hell. what did i do to deserve this

nyoom

nyoom

nyoom

ikarosthesecretangel:

fallen-angel-of-hidden-paths:

haruprince:

pissfreak:

pissfreak:

LOOK AT THIS CHICKEN GO

do u know how much of my dashboard is notes from this post at all hours of the day. do u know how many times every day i see someone reblog it and add “nyoom” to the caption. this is my personal hell. what did i do to deserve this

nyoom

nyoom

nyoom

thefunnynerd:

Doctor who is a show about a Time Traveling Alien
Why the fuck are people pushing him into human sexual categories? 

Preach it bro!

emilymmize:

humming-metallica-in-the-tardis:

onecelestialbeing:

housewifeswag:

excusemyhubris:

zayoken:

She’s cute

she’s just saying that because it’s probably difficult to reach her vagina.

you obviously have no idea how the female anatomy works and I’m assuming that’s because you’ve never touched a vagina in real life so why don’t you pipe the fuck down. pro tip: you can use your tears as lube while you’re masturbating tonight.

BURN

OH THAT WAS GOLD

DAMN! need some Neosporin for that BURN?

(Source: fyeahhousewifeswag)